Don’t You Wish You Were Us

This post is a little different from my others, it is less about empowering myself and a little bit about my appreciation for my big brother and the empowerment/love I have received from him. So here we go:

In life, we are blessed to cross paths with people of all kinds and we stumble upon people we build relationships with and people we come to love; but we always forgot to recognize people that we were blessed with from the beginning. I am not just talking about our parents or our family in general, but more specifically, our siblings. Since the day I was born, my big brother was the person I looked up to, the person I always wanted to be around, my best friend and the kid I knew would be in it with me for life.

It is always disheartening to hear from others that they do not have strong relationships with their siblings because, for me, having a brother has saved my life so many times. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when we fight and want to rip each others heads off but when push comes to shove and when there seems like there is nothing left, he has always been and will always be the person that will be by my side and have my back without a doubt.

Growing up we did everything together, I mean, we were so close in age that we could learn majority of things together. We played t-ball together. We did karate. We learned how to ride our bikes together. I watched all his baseball games and got to be the team sister. He came to all my dance recitals and competitions. We got to walk to school together. Then, once we both learned to drive, we drove to school together. We cheered together and learned how to tumble together, then we would always challenge one another to get better while simultaneously being each other’s biggest fan. We got to go to Worlds together 3 years in a row. We would always be the ones to stand up and say if he goes I go or if she goes I do. It was always a team effort, we stuck up for each other, we pushed each other, and we succeeded together. I have always felt proud to say, “that is my brother!”

Along with all the fun and cool things we have gotten to do together, he has always been the best friend and rock that I could ever ask for. On days where I did not want to get out of bed or go to practice, he would always be the first to say something that made me smile and get me out of my room. He would offer to watch our favorite shows or movies, or we would listen to all our favorites songs in the car. If one of us had a bad practice, we would grab a mountain dew or pizza on the way home and if you know my brother, you would know that this was no surprise. Thinking back, those are some of my favorite memories: our drives to school, practices, competitions, etc.

After 19 years, I have also realized that there is no better person to talk to then my big brother, or sit in silence with if the situation comes. Still to this day, I know that if anything is wrong he is one of the first to notice by the slightest change in my normal day-to-day self. One day, we were on our way to practice and I was having a really rough time, and he said to me, “JoVee, I know there is something wrong when the past couple days you haven’t sang a single song that you normally would call one of your favorites” and boy was he right. I call literally every song that I like, “one of my favorite songs” so I knew that in that moment, I had to fess up with what was going on because it was obvious to him. That is when our love for music conspired and when we started sharing all our favorite songs together.

Recently this love for sharing music with one another became much more significant. Earlier this year, we both were going through hard times and he began sending me songs of the day to help me cope with the things I was going through. It made our sibling-ship even stronger. Along with that, he had me start playing Fortnite with him, which surprisingly enough has been so much fun and a great way for us to stay talking to each other while being a little far from one another and having busy schedules. I was able to learn something new and that has helped me stay close with my big brother. (By the way, he is low-key really good at Fortnite and League and you should look him up).

Long story short, big brothers and siblings are super cool. They care so much about their younger siblings and always want what is best for you and never want you to feel alone. I hope if for some reason you don’t have a good relationship with your sibling that you change that, and that you take time to grow a stronger bond with your sibling because there is nothing better than having a person who is in it with you until the end. I don’t know what you and your siblings call each other but we like to say “#JarrettSiblings”, it means so much more to us than just a sibling-ship, and I hope you find something similar with your own siblings because it will ensure you never feel alone against the world. I miss the days we lived under the same roof and I think we took advantage of that too often because we never hung out and now we talk more than we ever have while living 8 hours apart.

 

As cool as we are you don’t want to regret not getting close with your siblings and wishing you were us. You should want other people to wish they were you and your siblings. Only you guys have the power to change that.

 

JoVee

It’s Not Too Late

I realize I have not been around my blog in a while and I have been thoroughly upset about that but I was just very busy this Summer pursuing many opportunities that I was given and I was having a blast because this was the first Summer, I think I have ever had where my life wasn’t built around a cheer or dance schedule. In short, I got to be apart of many things bigger than myself, by attending many concerts with family and friends, going on an incredible trip with my Dutch Bros family to Coacha, being apart of a few weddings, getting to go home and visit family and friends, and pursuing my side hustle in Arbonne. This post may seem sporadic, but I promise it is all connected by one common denominator.

One of the things I cherish the most about this Summer was the fact that throughout these opportunities I got to rekindle old friendships, create new friendships and strengthen my current friendships, and my heart has never been so full. I have always valued my friendships and believe in giving out a lot of love to those who surround you but, unfortunately, sometimes friendships fall off and people have fall outs that lead them down different paths. Many of my friendships seemed to have taken this hard left turn, in high school and then, even more so, when I moved away from everyone to go to college, although, I really wish they hadn’t. I did not move far but being 8 hours from everyone who is only 15 minutes from each other can leave you feeling left out and often lonely.

Experiencing this was hard for me especially when I have had a majority of the same friend group since I was in 7th or 8th grade; we have all grown together, supported one another, and been there for each other through most of our ups and downs. I have always valued these people and loved them unconditionally but when I moved I took the risk in losing the connections I had and risked not talking to them or seeing them as often as I would like because I had something I wanted to pursue here while they all had something they wanted to pursue there and we have all grown a little bit apart but when we are together it is as if we never left which makes being apart a lot less difficult. But with being far from my friends, I have not had the easiest time creating new friends where I live just because I have not really had the chance to show people who I really am or get to know them as well as I liked and I think not having m friends from home added on to feeling like I was unable to make friends took a harsh toll on me, until this Summer.

This Summer, I had opportunity to make a last-minute decision to go to Coacha, a huge Dutch Bros conference that was placed in Sacramento, California and lets just start by saying this experience changed my life. I was able to spend 3 days with a few of the people I work with and we took a 12 hour bus ride, went to this Coacha pre-party where we got to interact with other Dutch Bros employees from all over, got up at 4am for our conference to be first in the door, we got to hear from one of the owners of Dutch Bros about his why and love for this company, we drank a million rebels and then topped the night off with a concert where CVBZ, Kyle, and Khalid performed. It was so awesome and I had the time of my life being with my Dutch family. Who would have known you can truly enjoy a job and the people that surround you at it so much? I never thought I would have a job where I feel so loved, where I am appreciated for who I am and where I feel like I belong, and all the while it is just a coffee shop, but once you get inside of that coffee shop, it is so much different.

Additionally, this Summer, I went to Night in the Country this year, which may not be everyone’s thing but I LOVE country music and more importantly, it is my moms favorite part of the year and for the first time in 9 years I got to be apart of her experience. If you have no idea what NITC is, it’s a 3 night country festival where about 8 country artists perform on the main two nights and it’s just one huge party with a whole lot of people out in Yerington, Nevada.  At Night in the Country, I, not only got to see some of my favorite country artists, but I also was able to reconnect with people who were my absolute best friends in the 6th grade. We all hung out, sang loud, danced, and talked about life like we never have before for 3 straight days. It was something I really needed but did not realize until after the fact because you do not realize how much you have missed people until they’ve been gone and you get to reconnect with them and remember why you were the greatest of friends in the first place. Surprisingly enough, in the middle of nowhere,  where you really have no cell phone service, you can have a lot more deep conversations than you anticipated. We all talked about where we fell off, why we never tried to talk again and what we have been doing in the mean time and there were no hard feelings, just happiness for one another for where we have gotten. It was heart warming to know that although we all stopped talking, we all still cared about one another’s successes and wanted to help with the downfalls that we were all facing but were too afraid to talk about.

Another one of my favorite events this Summer was on 8/18/18, the day my dad got married and I got to be in the wedding! My dad and I have never had the greatest relationship, he knows it and so do I but this day meant so much and I think it was a new peak in our relationship. I got to see my dad say “I do” to his second chance at love and I do not think I have ever been so proud of my own father for something. A few of his close friends mentioned to me how he was so excited that I would be there and be apart of his big day and honestly each time I heard that I wanted to cry happy tears.  I was so in awe of him and his, now, wife, because their wedding had so much authentic love and it gave me yet another expectation of how I want my relationship to not only look, but feel.

More of my summer activities included my side hustle Arbonne where we promote healthy living inside and out and we share our love with the world. This is a “lifestyle”–or how we like to describe it anyway.  I attended a couple other concerts as well but I am going to save my music talk for one of my next blogs to come because music is a whole other dimension of passion and love for me.

Now you might be wondering, alright, cool we know all about your summer now so what was the point? Well my point was it is never too late. Never too late to find that job you love, it’s never too late to reconnect with old friends or reunite with current ones, it is never too late to pursue a hustle that you believe in, and it is never too late to experience things that will change your life, but you have to be willing to take that first step. At the beginning of this year, I did not think that this would be where I was 9 months later, I do not think I could have even thought this was possible for me with where my head was at but, now, I am feeling so much happier and I am seeing so much progression.

The little things have all added up for me, and it is never too late for them to add up for you too.

 

With the most love,

JoVee

 

Sorry, Not Sorry

For some people living unapologetically is very easy, while others struggle with it a little bit more. Now, you may be asking “well what would you say living unapologetically particularly means to you?” To me, living unapologetically means living a life where you have goals, hopes, dreams and are not afraid to say “I am living my life this way, for these following reasons because I have a goal to get to and I am currently falling short and I know I deserve more.” Living unapologetically means living a life that you do not need to be apologizing for simply because others do not understand your perspective or the goals you have in mind.

I would say that I fall into the latter group, the one who kind of struggle buses at living unapologetically, the one who expects a large amount from their self and falls short. I fill my plate very full, I have two jobs, I have a boyfriend, a social life, I just moved into my own apartment with my best friend and I try my best to make time for my family even though they live all over. I have found it somewhat difficult to live unapologetically especially when trying to focus on my own personal goals and dreams. Sometimes I find it hard because of the people around me and other times I find it hard because I am my biggest critic, but aren’t we all? We criticize everything about ourselves from the inside out and as a human that is just something we create a habit of doing… But what if, we created a piece in our mind that built us up and talked back to the critic inside us? We created a habit that speaks up, we combat the negative comments we tend to make, we create positivity from the inside out, we spread positivity to our self and surround our self with it. Then, when other people make negative comments about our journey to a goal, it does not bother us because it is a general negative comment that we already combated in our self.

For example, I have been on my Arbonne business’s 30 Days to Healthy Living challenge for two weeks now. The specific program I am on focuses on eliminating wheat/gluten, yeast, dairy, soy, vinegar, highly acidic drinks, processed foods, sugar and alcohol. So I eat very balanced meals, four times a day at four specific times. I can eat a large variety of foods, but when with friends out eating I really stay disciplined to figuring out the ingredients in each thing I am eating to make sure I am following the guidelines set forth by my program. It gets tedious and I guess can be annoying to those who may not want to know what they are eating, but for me, it is important to assure I am giving my body the correct and approved ingredients and nutrients I am supposed to insure my success on the program. Now, I also promote this program to my social media platforms because it has really been a rewarding experience for myself these past two weeks and I cannot wait to see what I have achieved in two weeks from now when I conclude my first 30 Days to Healthy Living challenge. I promote it because it is an amazing experience and also is a part of my job as an Arbonne consultant. In return, I often get rude messages about how people do not care about my job, my posts promoting products are annoying, stupid or are too much, etc. As a consultant, it comes with the job, you get people who do not know the business, do not believe it or do not want to learn more but as a client, it is a little hurtful but expected so I often catch myself apologizing about sharing it so much.  But in reality, it is alright, I understand that others do not have the same goals of growing a business or promoting a healthier body or mind for their self or others and I have started to brush it off easier each time it occurs.

Another example using the same context, I was eating out with my boyfriend and best friend at Cafe Rio the other day for lunch. I just get a bowl with rice, black beans and chicken because it follows my rules but I had gotten a red sauce that I was concerned had dairy or gluten in it so I brought it up in conversation and we were searching up the menu online with ingredients while the lady at the table next to us kept turning around to get me a dirty look after each ingredient.  It began to offend me, in turn, I kept loudly apologizing for being so annoying or being so pronounced in my research, until my boyfriend and bestfriend acknowledged that maybe they just do not think to know the ingredients in what they are eating so hearing it out loud might interest them or disinterest them for their own reason. They basically ignored my apology because they know what I am doing and both are supporters of my goals and it helped me become more comfortable in working on myself without apology.

After weeks of this journey, I have learned we often apologize for trying to work on someone we want to be, someone we are , or someone we are working on. We apologize like our growth is a problem or annoyance to others.  We apologize for promoting something we are lucky and able to receive  or that we are happy to have. We should never have to apologize for progress or authenticity. When apologizing, it is done out of feeling bad or like we are in the wrong, and it in turn gives us feelings of shame or guilt that we should not feel when making a positive change in who we are. There is absolutely no need to apologize for the goodness you are implementing into your life or the person you are proud to be.  Live your life unapologetically and be unapologetically who you are. Remember to surround yourself with people who support you being 100% you and not letting you slip up. Make sure you start with your biggest circle of influence–yourself. Then, your family, your friends and your coworkers. It is okay to ask for support and to distance yourself from those who do not support you the way you deserve.

So if you are feeling up to it, maybe you journal like me or maybe you need a little self reflection, and just take a small moment to create your own definition of living unapologetically: what would living a life you are proud of and not apologizing for look like to you, where would you be, who would be there standing by your side, how would you feel, what would you achieve along the way? Be honest with yourself. Be authentic.  Take a moment to picture yourself being someone you are so comfortable with and deeply proud of. What does this life entail and what is it that is holding you back?

Now that you have a picture: Empower that lifestyle, who you are, and at the next bus stop, get off that struggle bus and conquer becoming your unapologetic self.

Love from a girl who is doing just the same,

JoVee