Sorry, Not Sorry

For some people living unapologetically is very easy, while others struggle with it a little bit more. Now, you may be asking “well what would you say living unapologetically particularly means to you?” To me, living unapologetically means living a life where you have goals, hopes, dreams and are not afraid to say “I am living my life this way, for these following reasons because I have a goal to get to and I am currently falling short and I know I deserve more.” Living unapologetically means living a life that you do not need to be apologizing for simply because others do not understand your perspective or the goals you have in mind.

I would say that I fall into the latter group, the one who kind of struggle buses at living unapologetically, the one who expects a large amount from their self and falls short. I fill my plate very full, I have two jobs, I have a boyfriend, a social life, I just moved into my own apartment with my best friend and I try my best to make time for my family even though they live all over. I have found it somewhat difficult to live unapologetically especially when trying to focus on my own personal goals and dreams. Sometimes I find it hard because of the people around me and other times I find it hard because I am my biggest critic, but aren’t we all? We criticize everything about ourselves from the inside out and as a human that is just something we create a habit of doing… But what if, we created a piece in our mind that built us up and talked back to the critic inside us? We created a habit that speaks up, we combat the negative comments we tend to make, we create positivity from the inside out, we spread positivity to our self and surround our self with it. Then, when other people make negative comments about our journey to a goal, it does not bother us because it is a general negative comment that we already combated in our self.

For example, I have been on my Arbonne business’s 30 Days to Healthy Living challenge for two weeks now. The specific program I am on focuses on eliminating wheat/gluten, yeast, dairy, soy, vinegar, highly acidic drinks, processed foods, sugar and alcohol. So I eat very balanced meals, four times a day at four specific times. I can eat a large variety of foods, but when with friends out eating I really stay disciplined to figuring out the ingredients in each thing I am eating to make sure I am following the guidelines set forth by my program. It gets tedious and I guess can be annoying to those who may not want to know what they are eating, but for me, it is important to assure I am giving my body the correct and approved ingredients and nutrients I am supposed to insure my success on the program. Now, I also promote this program to my social media platforms because it has really been a rewarding experience for myself these past two weeks and I cannot wait to see what I have achieved in two weeks from now when I conclude my first 30 Days to Healthy Living challenge. I promote it because it is an amazing experience and also is a part of my job as an Arbonne consultant. In return, I often get rude messages about how people do not care about my job, my posts promoting products are annoying, stupid or are too much, etc. As a consultant, it comes with the job, you get people who do not know the business, do not believe it or do not want to learn more but as a client, it is a little hurtful but expected so I often catch myself apologizing about sharing it so much.  But in reality, it is alright, I understand that others do not have the same goals of growing a business or promoting a healthier body or mind for their self or others and I have started to brush it off easier each time it occurs.

Another example using the same context, I was eating out with my boyfriend and best friend at Cafe Rio the other day for lunch. I just get a bowl with rice, black beans and chicken because it follows my rules but I had gotten a red sauce that I was concerned had dairy or gluten in it so I brought it up in conversation and we were searching up the menu online with ingredients while the lady at the table next to us kept turning around to get me a dirty look after each ingredient.  It began to offend me, in turn, I kept loudly apologizing for being so annoying or being so pronounced in my research, until my boyfriend and bestfriend acknowledged that maybe they just do not think to know the ingredients in what they are eating so hearing it out loud might interest them or disinterest them for their own reason. They basically ignored my apology because they know what I am doing and both are supporters of my goals and it helped me become more comfortable in working on myself without apology.

After weeks of this journey, I have learned we often apologize for trying to work on someone we want to be, someone we are , or someone we are working on. We apologize like our growth is a problem or annoyance to others.  We apologize for promoting something we are lucky and able to receive  or that we are happy to have. We should never have to apologize for progress or authenticity. When apologizing, it is done out of feeling bad or like we are in the wrong, and it in turn gives us feelings of shame or guilt that we should not feel when making a positive change in who we are. There is absolutely no need to apologize for the goodness you are implementing into your life or the person you are proud to be.  Live your life unapologetically and be unapologetically who you are. Remember to surround yourself with people who support you being 100% you and not letting you slip up. Make sure you start with your biggest circle of influence–yourself. Then, your family, your friends and your coworkers. It is okay to ask for support and to distance yourself from those who do not support you the way you deserve.

So if you are feeling up to it, maybe you journal like me or maybe you need a little self reflection, and just take a small moment to create your own definition of living unapologetically: what would living a life you are proud of and not apologizing for look like to you, where would you be, who would be there standing by your side, how would you feel, what would you achieve along the way? Be honest with yourself. Be authentic.  Take a moment to picture yourself being someone you are so comfortable with and deeply proud of. What does this life entail and what is it that is holding you back?

Now that you have a picture: Empower that lifestyle, who you are, and at the next bus stop, get off that struggle bus and conquer becoming your unapologetic self.

Love from a girl who is doing just the same,

JoVee